Jacuzzi: Water That Moves You
by Jealous Maureen
Summary: Joanne wins a new Jacuzzi. MoJo fluff with some Mark thrown in there. Oneshot


**Notes:**

**Originally fluff for a relationship in a novel I'm writing. But, it is adorable Mo/Jo fluff**

**This is like…after everyone has moved out on Mark. Roger is downstairs with Mimi but they aren't mentioned here. Maureen moved in with Mark during a breakup with Joanne but they are back together and Maureen still hasn't moved in with Joanne.**

**Mark's a student at NYU, deciding to get a major in Film. Just a quick note and he pays bills and crap**

**I'm gonna assume that Maureen is a vegetarian, since I think that is something that she would do.**

**Disclaimer: Jonathan Larson is the creator of RENT. We are not worthy.**

"Just drop your card in there."

Joanne turned and looked at me. "Why would I do that?" She looked at the prize. "I don't need a new car. I don't even have a driver's license," Joanne said to me.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"We could get the car and then sell it on eBay," I stated. Joanne looked at me.

"I'm not gonna drop my card in there."

"Just drop it in."

Joanne looked at me and shook her head. "No."

I grabbed the card from her and held it up in the air, waving it around. Joanne was barely taller than me, so I had an advantage. She was trying to grab it when I pulled her into me and kissed her passionately, trying to make her forget all about the card.

As I was French kissing my girlfriend, I moved my hand over the lid of the container and dropped the card in the container. Once it was done, I broke our kiss and she looked at me. Realizing what I just did.

"That was shallow."

I was lounging on my couch, read Pride and Prejudice and Mark was doing his homework, while paying the bills. I was resting my head on the pillows, lying vertical and I was constantly kicking Mark.

"Will you stop?" he asked me. I looked at him.

"Someone's grumpy."

He looked at me. "No, it's just that you're kicking me and I'm messing up on my essay," he replied.

I cocked an eyebrow at Mark. "You're writing your essay?"

"It's the rough draft."

I looked at him, still trying to comprehend him. "Fine."

I stopped kicking Mark and stretched my legs out. I rested them on his leg. He looked at them and then back at me. I gave him a toothy grin and he just rolled his eyes and went back to his essay.

After a few moments of silence, I was growing bored.

"Hey Mark?"

"Hhm?"

"Why are you always spazzing over the bills?" I asked him. He looked up at me.

"Somebody around here has to," he replied sharply.

I left him alone after that, realizing that Mark forgot to take his Midol this morning. I became so engrossed in my book, that I didn't notice the knocking at the door. After the knocking got so loud, Mark slammed his book shut and stood up.

"What are you doing?"

"Answering the door," he retorted.

"Someone's at the door?" I asked. Mark rolled his eyes at me and opened the door. I heard Mark hiss something under his breath that sounded like "Span". I looked up from my book and saw Joanne standing there.

"Hey pookie," I said, pushing past Mark. "Come on in."

Mark moved his stuff to the armchair and started working again. Joanne sat next to me on the couch and I looked up at her. "What's up?"

"Can I stay here tonight?" she asked me. I looked at her.

"Why?"

"Because some bozos came over to my apartment and started installing a Jacuzzi bathtub," she said. I looked at her.

Mark took interest in our conversation at this point.

"Jacuzzi?" he asked. Joanne turned to him and nodded. "Why the hell are they doing that?"

She turned to me. "I think _Maureen_ can explain that to you."

I looked at Joanne. "What? I never entered you in something for a Jacuzzi."

"Do you remember two weeks ago when you entered me in that drawing for a New F150?" she asked me.

I nodded.

"Well, the dealership decided that they didn't want to sacrifice a truck so the Jacuzzi company let the winner get a free Jacuzzi. And guess who the winner was?" Joanne asked.

"You?"

"Yes, me."

I started clapping, Joanne and Mark completely clueless of why I was clapping. They looked at me like I was a complete nutcase.

"Why are you clapping?" Mark asked me. I smiled and looked at Joanne.

"Because Joanne actually won something!" Joanne gave me the killing stare. "That wasn't in the Debate Club!"

Mark looked at Joanne. "You won the Debate Club awards?"

Joanne looked at him. "Yeah…six years in a row."

Mark gawked at her for a minute then returned to his essay. But I could hear him mutter something under his breath:

"God, you are a nerd."

I smiled. I had both my best friends in the same apartment together and one of them talked to the other one. "So, where we gonna eat?" I asked.

"Eat?" Mark asked me.

"Yeah, eat. Like where we pick food up and put it in ou-"

Mark cut me off. "Maureen, I know what eating is."

I smiled at him. "So, where we gonna eat?"

"Katz?" Mark asked me. I smiled.

"Yep, Katz. One of the greatest Jewish Delis in New York," I said. Joanne looked at me.

"You realize they don't have anything for vegetarians here," she said to me. I looked at Joanne.

"Yes, but, they have split pea soup!"

We grabbed some food and sat down at the table "Where Harry met Sally". Mark and Joanne both orde pastrami and potato latkes. Mark ate in silence, listening to Joanne and I blab about random things. The soup was really good and I was looking at Joanne's sandwich. When I gazed over at Mark, he seemed to be in heaven with his pastrami. I could have sworn that he was almost about to pet and kiss his sandwich. Joanne was eating hers with delight, having the slimy, cholesterol filled, artery clogging meat in her mouth. She seemed to be in love with her pastrami. And as we all know when Joanne is around something she's in love with.

Maureen gets jealous.

"Let me have a bite," I said.

Silence filled the table as Mark and Joanne both looked up from their heart-stopping paradise at me.

"Maureen, this is meat," Joanne said to me. I looked at her.

"This isn't just meat. This is dead cow," Mark said, pointing to it. "Which you wear everyday," he finished weakly, then shutting up realizing that it wasn't helping.

"You two look like you just died and went to heaven though," I said.

"Maureen, you haven't eaten meat since you were eleven, don't you want to keep it that way?" Joanne asked me.

"Can't I make my own decisions? Let me have a bite."

Mark and Joanne continued looking at me.

"Not out of mine," they both said at the same time. They both glanced at each other then back at me.

"Baby, just one bite," I uttered to Joanne. I came close to her ear. "I promise I'll pay you back, something that's a million times better than pastrami," I whispered seductively in her ear. Joanne looked at me and smirked. She picked the sandwich off her plate and I looked over at Mark. Mark obviously heard, since he was staring at me.

I gave him a toothy grin, trying to make him feel better. Mark managed a weak smile and then dove back to his sandwich, which I swear he was petting.

Joanne handed me the sandwich and they both watched me. I took in a deep breath and opened my mouth, bringing the dead cow on bread into it. I felt it in my mouth and started chewing. When I bit down on it, a sliver of meat juice popped from the meat and into my mouth. My eyes widened as I swallowed it with difficulty.

I swear I could feel my heart stopping from just that one bite.

I dropped the sandwich and grabbed Mark's water. I drank about half of the bottle until I took it from my mouth, gasping.

"That…was disgusting."

"Maureen, look what you did," Joanne moaned.

I looked down at the green soup that now had dissolving bread and meat in it.

Joanne spent the night that night and we didn't do anything special. Mark was up late since the lamp beside the couch was still turned on. I could hear him scratching away frantically, trying hard to finish his rough draft before two A.M. He finished paying the bills around eleven and started working on the paper. I felt a pang in my heart of sympathy for Mark, always having to do everything around her while I did nothing.

But then Joanne started playing with my spaghetti top. And I forgot all about that pang of sympathy that was quickly replaced with a leap.

I kissed the top of Joanne's forehead and pulled her closer to me. She was wearing some Soffe shorts or something and her law school t shirt. I rested my head on her shoulder and moved my hands barely under her shirt, asking permission to explore. When Joanne didn't pull or move them away I let my hands discover her body.

After a few minutes of traveling around her upper body I moved down to her lower body and wedged my thumb in her pants. I kissed her lips softly.

"I love you," I whispered to her.

"I love you too."

And two seconds after she whispered that to me, the lights went out.

I walked Joanne home in the morning and the workers were gone and a Jacuzzi was now installed in her bathroom.

"Holy shit baby, this thing is huge," I said to her.

"It's a Sabella brand. Has 10 jets; four PowerPro jets, four neck jets, two foot jets, a sculpted armrest, digital controls, and underwater lighting," Joanne said. I turned to her and saw her reading the Jacuzzi guide.

"Underwater lighting?" I asked her. Joanne looked at me and nodded still in awe. I turned back to the Jacuzzi. "Holy shit."

"I don't need this," Joanne said quickly. "I'm calling them and telling them just give it to someone else." She pulled her cell phone out but I quickly grabbed it away from her.

"No. Don't you dare call them back."

"Why not? I'm a lawyer. I don't need one of these," she said, pointing to the bath. I looked at it.

"It needs a name."

Joanne looked at me. "Maureen, we are not going to name it."

I ignored her. "How about George? Or Steve."

Joanne cocked her eyebrow at me. "Does it have to have a guy name?" she asked me. I turned back to her and smiled.

"Fine, doesn't have to have a guy name."

I studied it, in deep thought. "How about Debra?" I asked her. Joanne looked at me.

"Debra?"

"Or Barbara. Or Susan."

Joanne looked at me oddly. "Let's go with Susan."

"Susan! The Sabella bath from the rich and wealthy world above!" I announced dramatically. Joanne rolled her eyes at me. "Welcome to your new mistress' apartment!"

Silence.

Joanne giggled a bit. I turned to her.

"Alright, let's try this thing out."

Joanne froze and looked at me. "W-what?"

I looked at her. "Come let's get in," I said to her. She looked at me.

"Isn't it too small for the both of us?" she asked me. I looked at her and then back at the bath. I grabbed the guide from her hand and read the measurements.

"Six feet long, four feet wide and almost two feet deep." I looked up at her. "Yeah, it's too big."

Joanne looked at me uncomfortably and then sighed. "Alright."

I smirked.

"This is your change back for letting me eat the corpse yesterday," I said seductively to her. She smiled.

"Well, I really wanted some last night."

I stopped her. "Joanne, you know we can't around Mark," I said to her. Joanne nodded.

"I guess so."

We slid out of our clothes and into the bath, looking at each other. Joanne seemed uncomfortable and smiled at me meekly.

I was sitting across from her in the bath and I moved towards her. I was directly above her, our wet skin touching each other as I planted a kiss on her smooth lips. Before I knew it, our arms were wrapped around each other and I couldn't tell who's legs were whose.

_Jacuzzi, water and sex that moves you. _


End file.
